Translation of letter from Theresa Gauss to her brother Eugene, March
27, 1845.
Gottingen
March 27, 1846
My beloved Eugene:
I had already resolved
to write to you during these days and to thank you for your kind letter
which I received last January; but today I am so infinitely rejoiced
and surprised, so heartily reminded of you by the loving present from
your wife, that I now take my seat at once after the receipt of her
letter, for the purpose of writing. How much I regret that I am
not sufficiently mistress of the English language -- which in order
to be able to read English works in the original I have studied alone
for pleasure -- to express myself well in it; I am sorry to say
that I lack here all opportunity for practice in speaking and writing,
and so I shall have to ask you to translate for your good Henrietta
the words which I will address to her.
When I had freed your
little portrait from the envelope and examined it with the most joyful
surprise, I still had to look at it for a long time before I found in
it again quite the features of you, my dear good Eugene, which had lived
in my memory. I was, it is true, still a child when I saw you
the last time, and since then fifteen years have elapsed, and so I really
must wonder that nevertheless this little dear picture -- after I had
looked at it for some time - showed me so much resemblance to your exterior
of that time. After so many years you probably would not recognize
me at all, for the interval between 13 and 28 leaves so little of the
youthful features.
News from you always
gives me great joy, my good brother, and perhaps you do not imagine
how close to you all I often transport myself in thought, and then always
feel the wish that there might be less distant separation between us.
Partly through the death of loved ones, partly through circumstances
of various kinds, I am so indescribably isolated in my quiet retired
life with our good father that I have often longed for the companionship
of even one being related to me, and sadly mourned that fact that just
you and William, you who after father would stand nearest to me upon
earth, are too far away from me to justify a hope for a probable reunion.
So long as our beloved father is preserved to me and I may find such
great joy in caring for him, I may indeed be called very happy, but
beyond that I cannot think without becoming deeply conscious of my then
standing entirely alone. In a few days he will reach his 68th
year, and I have during the last few years observed a greater decrease
in his powers, and during last summer experienced an anxious concern
about him when he became ill so suddenly and violently. But he
is now well and nearly always in a uniformly cheerful mood, and toward
me always affectionate and kind. Grandmother I have not seen since
two years ago, when I visited her in Hanover, which probably will seem
hardly credible to you when the distance is so small. But father
is so accustomed to my presence and so little satisfied when I leave
him even for one day, and moreover so entirely alone and without all
companionship here in Gottingen, that it would be very difficult for
me to resolve upon even a short separation from him. During this
summer an opportunity will present itself to see Joseph once again after
several years, as his great wish has been fulfilled and he has obtained
a position in the construction of a railroad which is to run from Hildesheim
to Cassel by way of Gottingen. These convenient improvements have
now at last spread in all Germany and are still continually extended.
I very seldom hear from Joseph, hardly more frequently than from you
my dear Eugene, and then only accidentally through others, so we are
I am sorry to say rather strangers to each other, as we do not correspond.
In his domestic life he is very happy and contented, for which he indeed
has good cause, as his wife is an extremely good and amiable being.
William after an interval
of several years has at last again written to Father, according to which
he seems quite satisfied in the life of a farmer upon which he has again
entered. As I now have his address I shall write to him soon.
He also expressed in his letter so positively the doubt of ever returning
to Germany, even on a visit, that I have given up all hope of ever seeing
him again. I indeed comprehend according to your letter how difficult
it will be for you, dear Eugene, to carry out so long and distant a
journey, not only account of it's expense, but even if your business
circumstances are such that you could not at present think of carrying
it out, perhaps in time to come it can nevertheless be managed.
I find it so sad that so long as we inhabit the same world we should
have to give up all hope of meeting again. But when this must
be so, let me at least hear from you by letter from time to time that
you are prosperous and happy and always retain some love for me.
I shall surely always answer with great joy and punctuality. Fare
you well, my dear, dear Eugene. For your wife I will now add a
few lines and ask you to translate them for her.
My beloved sister:
For the great joy
which you have given me through your cordial letter and the dear, dear
little portrait of our Eugene, I know no better way of thanking you
than by expressing my sincere joy caused by it, directly after it's
receipt. Your affectionate heart has chosen so correctly in wishing
to send me something that would make me happy that I could really have
received nothing from your hand which would have given me so much pleasure,
unless it were perhaps the picture of you yourself, which now must still
be left for my imagination to paint for me. The little picture
has reached me quite safe and uninjured, and I have had it in my hands
and examined it a hundred times. I shall now take it out of it’s case
and frame it, in order always to have it hanging before me in the room.
How doubly dear and kind this gift from you is, as it has until now
been your property and probably was given you as a present by Eugene
in former times. I can yet gratefully appreciate and will for
that reason love it so much the more. You may well believe how
much I share your wish that we should some time have the pleasure of
becoming acquainted with each other, and as long as Eugene does not
deny this possibility, I shall hold firmly to this hope, even if it
should be realized only after a long time. But when I think of
the possible fulfillment of such a wish, my dear sister, I do not transplant
it to America's soil, but I prefer to think that Eugene will bring you
on a visit to his former home, and you shall surely not lack anything
in love and cordiality. In the company of your good Eugene you
would probably not fear the long trip, if only all other obstacles could
be removed. But the undertaking of such a journey to America would
indeed presuppose a much greater heroism that I give myself credit for,
although the fact that my two dear brothers live there might well exercise
great attraction. I am only sorry that I cannot easily express
myself in your language, but I hope this will not be an obstacle in
my sometimes conversing with you by letter, as I perfectly understand
your English letters, and Eugene undoubtedly will with pleasure translate
my German ones for you. I shall also endeavor to learn English
somewhat better, so that I may succeed in a measure in writing in that
language also.
My father sends to
you, my beloved sister, as well as to Eugene the kindest greetings,
but I add to the sincere thanks for the pleasure given me the hearty
assurance that I am with sisterly love, yours,
Theresa Gauss
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