Tickle your funny bone with the genealogy
funnies. Take a look at the lighter side of the hobby we all love!
Graveyard Humor
Be careful what you inscribe on a
tombstone. Here are some funny ones!
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767
Russell J. Larsen buried in Logan, Ut.
Two things I love most,
good horses and beautiful women,
And when I die I hope they tan this old hide of mine
and make it into a ladies riding saddle,
So I can rest in peace
between the two things I love
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.
When the great judgement day arrives
and Joshua Fenton Newton does not emerge from this hole,
you will know that someone made a mistake
and buried me in the wrong hole.
From La Pointe, Wis.
To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu
Born 15 September 1822
Accidentally shot 4th April 1844
As a mark of affection from his brother.
From Burlington Vt.
She lived with her husband fifty years
And died in the confident hope of a better life.
Here lies my wife:
Here let her lie!
Now she's at rest
And so am I.
Here Lies Mary Smith
Silent At Last
Don't go alone when transcribing
cemeteries!!!
- A woman in KY, an avid cemetery hunter did what no
gal should do.
- She had heard about a cemetery in the woods long
sought after and went
- by herself . It was way off the beaten path. She
found the cemetery
- and was getting ready to mark the names and dates
down when she
heard a click on either side of her. She was on her hands and knees.
- She looked up and saw a fellow on either side of her
with a rifle, cocked.
- In her excitement, she had been pulling up grass and
weeds to clear the
stones. When she glanced down, she saw what she had been pulling ... their
"crop" ready for harvesting - the illegal type of hemp! Thinking quickly
(and likely praying a lot!) she turned on the tears and said "Oh, I hope
I'm not trespassing ... I'm just so happy .... THERE'S GRANDPA!" "I've
hunted for his grave for years (sob, sob), and there he is, oh Grandpa!"
They took one look at her and just walked away. Never go cemetery hunting
alone!!! By the way, she didn't have the foggiest idea of who was buried
there, but bet her real grandpa was proud of her!
- Author: Sandi Gorin
I can see this happening at a
genealogist's grave.....
Two men were walking home after a
party and decided to take a
shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of
the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming
from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man
with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You
scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you
doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
Shame, Shame, Shame
A man placed some flowers on the grave of
his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted
to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity
and kept repeating,
"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to
die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to
interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever
seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect
himself, then replied ................."My wife's first husband."
A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point...he
really never said too much.
One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes knocked on his door
and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn't home.
"Well," the woman said, "could I please wait for her?"
The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours.
After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked, "May I know where your wife is?"
" She went to the cemetery," he replied.
"And when is she coming home?"
"I don't really know," he said. "She's been there eleven years now."
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