~ Page 9 ~
from JohnPaul
This poem is dedicated to all females who are unjustly
held back for the many reasons mentioned below. For all
the Mothers, sisters, friends and spouses of the past and
future... shall we ever learn?
SHE WILL NEVER BE...
She will never be
what she wants to be
...because they will admire her figure
and not the confidence she wears
....because they will notice her golden mane
and not the experience she bares
...because they will judge her skin color
and not the depth of her soul
...because they will desire her flesh
and not the capacity of her mind
...because they will listen to her speak
and not hear the context of her message
...because they will discover her to be single
and not understand her independence
...because they will find children in her home
and not utilize her gift of creativity
...because they will regard her age too old
and not seek her years of wisdom
...because they will stumble upon her troubled past
and not recognize her achievements of today
...because they will rate her by her social calendar
and not for her social graces
...because they will decide her fate by gender
and not for her strong will and ability
...because they will see her weakness when she cries
and not for her compassion for living
She will never be
what she wants to be...
By Richard J. Kallimanes
from Toni in CA
I have four links to a bit of Genealogy humor, poetry,
tag lines etc.
Ye
Olde English Sayings
Genealogy
Humor WitWisdomCharm
THE
OUTHOUSE
Genealogy
Poetry and Prose
IF WOMEN RULED THE WORLD...
* PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
* Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men
hiding wedding rings in their pockets.
* A man would no longer be considered a "good
catch" simply because he is breathing.
* Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight
standard would increase by 40 pounds.
* Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.
* "Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit
issue featuring cantily clad male models.
* Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working
twice as hard for none of the credit.
* Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven
Hunks."
* Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made.
* Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching
soap operas.
* Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because
there would be no pictures.
* Men would learn phrases like "I'm sorry,"
"I love you," "You're beautiful,"
* Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by
their accomplishments.
* Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.
* Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to
their car.
* All toilet seats would be nailed down.
* Men would work on relationships as much as they work on
their careers.
* TV news segments on sports would never run longer than
1 minute.
* All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS
simulator.
* During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and
women would date 19-year-olds.
* After a baby is born, men would take a six-week
paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.
* For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of
a two-year-old for six weeks.
from Shirley
Freebies & Contests
Everyone is always looking for free stuff...
..here are some urls that some of you may be interested
in.
A
Volition to Win Stuff!
Barbara's
Freebie Page
Benny's
Free Stuff
Catalog
Site Home Page
Celebrity
Addresses
Contest
Guide
Free
Stuff Bonanza
FREE
Stuff!
Free
Stuff, Contests, & Cool Sites
Freeshop
Greg's
Free Stuff
How
To Get Free T-shirts
Lamiya's
Freebies
Mike's
Free Stuff
Net
Travel Giveaways
Sweepstakes
Online
Virtual
Free Stuff
Weekly
Freebie Collection
Zia
Free Stuff Resources
from Kath
Genealogy Today
What's
New in Genealogy
The number of genealogy sites on the Web is growing fast.
Genealogy Today promises to keep track of them for you.
Along with a Viewers' Choice section and free monthly
newsletter.
One of the best genealogy websites on the web.
from Annette
AGING IS WHEN...
~~Every thing hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work
~~The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your
bi-focals
~~You feel like the morning after--and you haven't been
anywhere
~~You know all the answers-but no one ask you the
questions.
~~You lookforward to a dull evening
~~Your knees buckle--and your belt won't
~~You're 17" around the neck--42" around the
waist and 96 around the golf course
~~You burn the midnight oil at 9;00PM
~~Your back goes out more often than you do
~~Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when an
attractive member of the opposite sex goes by
~~You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there
SMILE
This is a cute site...
shirley
:)
http://members.aol.com/SWeiss6650/smile4me10.html
from LaRae
....a friend sent this to me who knows I'm a niteowl...
G'Nite My Friend!
G'Nite
My Friend!
25 THINGS
THAT DAVE BARRY LEARNED
IN THE FIRST 50 YEARS OF HIS LIFE...
1) The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the
number of helicopters in it.
2) You will never find anybody who can give you a clear
and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings
time.
3) People who feel the need to tell you that they have an
excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have
no sense of humor.
4) The most valuable function performed by the federal
government is entertainment.
5) You should never say anything to a woman that even
remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can
see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
6) A penny saved is worthless.
7) They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there
will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years
from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there
is nothing left alive on the planet except a few
microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle
East will be bitter enemies.
8) The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
9) The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless
of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic
background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe
that we are above average drivers.
10) There comes a time when you should stop expecting
other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That
time is age 11.
11) There is a very fine line between "hobby"
and "mental illness."
12) People who want to share their religious views with
you almost never want you to share yours with them.
13) There apparently exists, somewhere in Los Angeles, a
computer that generates concepts for television sitcoms.
When TV executives need a new concept, they turn on this
computer; after sorting through millions of possible plot
premises, it spits out, "THREE QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE
YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT," and the
executives turn this concept into a show. The next time
they need an idea, the computer spits out, "SIX
QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN
APARTMENT." Then the next time, it spits out,
"FOUR QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN
AN APARTMENT." And so on. We need to locate this
computer and destroy it with hammers.
14) Nobody is normal.
15) At least once per year, some group of scientists will
become very excited and announce that:
a) The universe is even bigger than they thought!
b) There are even more subatomic particles than they
thought!
c) Whatever they announced last year about global warming
is wrong.
16) If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why
the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve,
its full potential, that word would be
"meetings."
17) The main accomplishment of almost all organized
protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18) The value of advertising is that it tells you the
exact opposite of what the advertiser actually thinks.
For example:
a) If the advertisement says "This is not your
father's Oldsmobile," the advertiser is desperately
concerned that this Oldsmobile, like all other
Oldsmobiles, appeals primarily to old geezers like your
father.
b) If Coke and Pepsi spend billions of dollars to
convince you that there are significant differences
between these two products, both companies realize that
Pepsi and Coke are virtually identical.
c) If the advertisement strongly suggests that Nike shoes
enable athletes to perform amazing feats, Nike wants you
to disregard the fact that shoe brand is unrelated to
athletic ability.
d) If Budweiser runs an elaborate advertising campaign
stressing the critical importance of a beer's
"born-on" date, Budweiser knows this factor has
virtually nothing to do with how good a beer tastes.
19) If there really is a God who created the entire
universe with all of its glories, and He decides to
deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His
messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
20) You should not confuse your career with your life.
21) A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter,
is not a nice person.
22) No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to
take it too seriously.
23) When trouble arises and things look bad, there is
always one individual who perceives a solution and is
willing to take command. Very often, that individual is
irrational.
24) Your friends love you anyway.
25) Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and
dance.
