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Feminist Mothers at
Home
BEING
A MOTHER AT HOME:
MY FEMINIST CHOICE
by Ann Allen
I am a feminist mother at home. No, it is not an
oxymoron. It is a way of life that is as natural as
breathing. It is a reflex. A part of me that I won't turn
off. It sustains me.
I
believe that feminism is a state of mind. A feminist
believes that women are people and should be treated
equally. A feminist may work outside the home or choose
to stay at home and raise the children. A feminist can
come in any color, race or creed. A feminist can be
female or male (yes, men can be feminists).
You probably know someone that cringes at the word
"feminist." They associate it with the fringe
element. Man-hating, bra- burning, radical left wing
wackos. Although I understand this thinking, I disagree
with it. The more people see "just plain folks"
calling themselves feminists the less fear the word will
evoke.
I haven't always considered myself a feminist, but when I
heard the words "it's a girl!" I became a
feminist in earnest. Like all mothers, I wanted my girl
to know a perfect world. A world that didn't exist when I
was growing up. Ideally, a world where she wouldn't be
judged on gender. I wanted to be an advocate for change.
Nearly 8 years ago, before the birth of my first
daughter, I was a paid "working woman." I still
work - damn hard. I just don't get paid for it. Back
then, I remember thinking, "If I am going to leave
this baby in someone else's care I had better LOVE the
place where I am going." Well, guess what - I didn't
love it that much. I expected to stay at home for six
months at the most. Here I am nearly 8 years later and I
do not regret a minute of this life choice.
I feel fortunate that I have been in a situation that has
allowed me to make the choice to stay at home with my
children. I want to be my child's primary influence. I
want to teach her that all people deserve a chance in
life. I want to be there to point out and discuss the
injustices in our society so that she has a better
opportunity to form fair-minded opinions. I want her to
proudly call herself a feminist and have the strength,
knowledge and perserverance to hold fast to her
convictions.
I have been asked how I can consider myself a feminist
because I have chosen this "June Cleaver"
lifestyle. I have wondered if my girls would view me as
weak or subservient because I am not on the corporate
fast track. Then I realize that what my girls want is me.
They want my time and attention. They want spontaneous
hugs and unconditional understanding. Ours is not a
"Leave it to Beaver" household. Yes, I stay at
home and am the primary caretaker. Yes, my husband goes
out to the office each day for a wage. However, our
lifestyle is more of a team approach. We are not Ward and
June Cleaver. Our children benefit from seeing us work
cooperatively and do non-traditional jobs. This serves to
contradict some of the societal stereotypes that bombard
them daily.
I am proud to be a feminist. I am proud doing my best to
raise my children in a not-so-perfect world. I am proud
to be a feminist, working mother at home.
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