Mother's Day Stories -- 3




A MOTHER-IN-LAW'S LEGACY

by Patricia Ann Dragland

The sun entered the back-door window, crashing onto the linoleum in a warm, stunning spray. I sat there wondering how I would cope with a newborn baby and an 11-month-old toddler. I was elated to have these incredible little girls, but I was beside myself with the enormous task at hand — how was I going to accommodate all their needs? As I sat drinking my tea, a familiar voice yoo-hooed through the front door and my mother-in-law came in full of energy and excitement. She was more than thrilled to have another baby to coo at in the family. She, having had two children within a year, knew full well what was in store for me — I was going to need plenty of help.

And help she did. If there was any task or project to complete, she was there at my side. I was very grateful for the help, but I was very young and somewhat intimidated by her competence. I would occasionally feel hovered over and unsure of my own abilities. Regardless of my slight intimidation, I began to learn so much about keeping house, canning, bread making, and more. She always gave me a clear focus and a true pride in being a stay-at-home mom. These days, when I look toward the back-door window and the light shines through just so, my eyes wander around the room and I see the changes we've made to our home, then I see her. I see her as being a part of every big decision and every change that was made in our lives. I see her as "Mom." There is no space in my home that she has not touched, no time when she was not at my side with paintbrush or hammer in hand. I think about her role in my life and feel blessed to have been touched by her unconditional love. For what at the time seemed to be just a helping hand was, in fact, love being passed through gesture.

I think of this often now as she sits in her chair not knowing who I am. She is now 59 years old, and Alzheimer's disease has taken over. I struggle with knowing that she has lost half the life she intended to live, and I ache for her husband and children. I have known her love, but they have experienced it even more, and their loss is greater. I would give anything to be intimidated once again by her competence, or irritated by her hover. I settle myself by holding tight to the competence and skills that she so generously taught to me.

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