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You
Know You're a Mom When...
1. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor.....and you don't
care.
2. When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them
in a room
together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.
3. You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a
friend to call you, and you run around the house madly,
following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs
in the laundry basket.
4. You spend an entire week wearing sweats.
5. Your idea of a good day is making it through without a
child leaking
bodily fluids on you.
6. Popsicles become a food staple.
7. Your favorite television show is a cartoon.
8. Peanut butter and jelly is eaten at least in one meal
a day.
9. You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo,
regardless of where it is.
10. Your baby's pacifier falls on the floor and you give
it back to her, after you suck the dirt off of it because
you're too busy to wash it off.
11. Your kids make jokes about burping, pooping, etc. and
you think it's funny.
12. You're so desperate for adult conversation that you
spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE
hangs up on YOU!
13. Spit is your number one cleaning agent.
14. You're up each night until 10 PM vacuuming, dusting,
wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping,
cooking, driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking
up, changing sheets, changing diapers, bathing, helping
with homework, paying bills, budgeting, clipping coupons,
folding clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed,
brushing, chasing, buckling, feeding (them, not you),
PLUS swinging, playing baseball, bike riding, pushing
trucks, cuddling dolls, roller balding, basketball,
football, catch, bubbles, sprinklers, slides, nature
walks, coloring, crafts, jumping rope, PLUS raking,
trimming, planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting,
and walking the dog. You get up at 5:30 AM and you have
no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and
yet...you still managed to gain 10 pounds.
15. In your bathroom there is toothpaste on the light
fixtures, water
all over the floor, a dog drinking out of the toilet and
body hair forming a union to protest unsafe working
conditions.
16. You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.
17. The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making rice
crispies bars.
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