grandfather march with his parents' old teacher and hundreds of other veterans, as they paraded down Little Rock's Main Street. He heard them swap war stories, denigrate the damyankees (one word!) and predict the demise of a nation that was dominated now by the industrial North. Hearing all of this how did he learn such tolerance and acceptance of people unlike himself?
At age seven his family entertained soldiers from nearby Camp Pike, and Tom hung on every word they spoke about life in the infantry and the strictness of commanding officers. He was pleased when his oldest sister, Lois, married one of these soldiers after Armistice Day - the one from Kentucky, 
the one with the greatest knack for story telling and reciting speeches - Tom Gregg. These two Toms kept in touch till the older Tom died tragically many years later. Though very different in many ways they also had some similarities, and each admired the other's talents and ignored his many faults. [These were my two Uncle Toms whom I loved dearly, each in his own way.]
Tom Payne grew up surrounded by family, AKA kinfolks. 
His mother's nephew, Merick (first boy on front row, next to Tom) and his father's nephew, Paul (tall fellow on the right - below) were both near Tom's age. Whether the three boys were together at school, church or family gatherings Tom was always the one with the messiest look. His shirt tail out, his hair rumpled, and his knuckles dirty from a marbles game Tom was the one needing attention. Mildred scrubbed his hands, Mama scrubbed his body, 
and Effie scrubbed his clothes. He regularly evoked mothering instincts in females. Somehow with all this attention he grew up to be exceptionally fastidious - Mr. Neat-as-a-pin - and the one who cooked and cleaned for fellow students during college.
Transitions are part of life for everyone, and Tom's came regularly, though never early or smoothly. He dropped out of school several times, first, in high school, then in college, and still later in graduate school. But he kept going back to finish. He was not a quitter, just a bit picky (?), indecisive (?), unfocused (?), or "whatever."
Tom dated many girls, usually the prettiest ones around. But he didn't marry till he was 32. 
And he didn't marry a Southern Belle, but rather a Plains' school teacher - from Nebraska. She was not, however, a plain school teacher.
Tom's dad 
was a railroad engineer, a gardener, and a sportsman. Bill Payne was good at all of these things, but at fishing he was surpassed by his brother,
Peyton,
Paul's  dad. The whole family remembers Uncle Pate's fish stories, and Tom swears he had total recall of every fish he ever caught, down to the sequence, size, species and bait. Maybe the men in the family were natural fishermen, or maybe Tom acquired his love and skills from Uncle Pate. |
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The Paynes didn't just tell stories, they also sang them. Tom's mother sang old tear jerkers from bygone days such as, "Father, Dear Father, Come Home With Me Now" and "The Little Match Girl." But his Dad sang plantation songs while he chorded on the piano. Sometimes "Dad" and Uncle Pate would play the jews harp and harmonica (mouth organ or French harp), and often Tom's middle sisters would sing harmony while his oldest sister played the piano, and the "baby" played the saxaphone. [Accepted in the family was the notion that Josephine (1906-1988) was the "baby," but Tom was the youngest.]
After moving from Virginia in 1808, Tom's grandmother's grandmother, Mary (Angus) Wilsford, "birthed" her youngest children 
in this log cabin in Giles County, Tennessee. Tom's grandmother, Mary Anne (Skillern) Payne, however, was born in a fancy house in Madison County, and graduated from the girls' academy in Denmark. Soon after her graduation Mary Anne's father moved the family to Arkansas and she went along - to teach school and help her mother. After all, she was the oldest daughter, and she had a good education, such God-given-benefits should not be wasted. Her mother never quite adjusted to the rigors of life in Arkansas. Things were such a contrast to West Tennessee, and so soon after they moved along came the War. Poor Lucinda! Mary Anne consoled and comforted her mother as if their roles were reversed. But this set a pattern, an expectation. To take care of one's mother - at all costs - was the proper thing to do in this family! Tom grew up doing this as much as his siblings did, but when he left home he gave up those actions. This may have been the most difficult transition of Tom's life. It most certainly was the one that caused Lucy the most problems.