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Steve : Please grant me a pardon for this indiscretion.  We all need to
laugh-- this is no worse than telling us how many different ways there are to
find out what's in a book-- LOL !   

URQ

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Date: Wed, 11 Mar 1998 18:11:33 -0800
From: Loriane Frewing 
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Subject: Fwd: Tongue-in-cheek unsubscribing
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Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Date: Tue, 10 Mar 1998 18:38:44 -0800
From: Loriane Frewing 
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Subject: Tongue-in-cheek unsubscribing
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Someone sent me this and I thought it might be enjoyed by others.


Here's how to unsubscribe:
> 
> First, ask your Internet Provider to mail you an Unsubscribing Kit.
> Then follow these directions.
> 
> The kit will most likely be the standard no-fault type. Depending on
> requirements, System A and/or System B can be used. When operating
> System A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron unsubscriber will be
> dispensed through the slot immediately underneath. When you have
> fastened the adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large "X"
> outlet hose. Twist the silver- coloured ring one inch below the
> connection point until you feel it lock.
> 
> The kit is now ready for use. The Cin-Eliminator is activated by the
> small switch on the lip. When securing, twist the ring back to its
> initial condition, so that the two orange lines meet. Disconnect.
> Place the dalkron unsubscriber in the vacuum receptacle to the rear.
> Activate by pressing the blue button.
> 
> The controls for System B are located on the opposite side. The red
> release switch places the Cin-Eliminator into position; it can be
> adjusted manually up or down by pressing the blue manual release
> button. The opening is self- adjusting. To secure after use, press
> the green button, which simultaneously activates the evaporator and
> returns the Cin-Eliminator to its storage position.
> 
> You may log off if the green exit light is on over the evaporator .
> If the red light is illuminated, one of the Cin-Eliminator
> requirements has not been properly implemented. Press the "List Guy"
> call button on the right of the evaporator . He will secure all
> facilities from his control panel.
> 
> To use the Auto-Unsub, first undress and place all your clothes in
> the clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet
> immediately below. Enter the shower, taking the entire kit with you.
> On the control panel to your upper right upon entering you will see a
> "Shower seal" button. Press to activate. A green light will then be
> illuminated immediately below. On the intensity knob, select the
> desired setting. Now depress the Auto-Unsub activation lever. Bathe
> normally.
> 
> The Auto-Unsub will automatically go off after three minutes unless
> you activate the "Manual off" override switch by flipping it up. When
> you are ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button.
> The door will open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro
> slippers and place them in their container.
> 
> If you prefer the ultrasonic log-off mode, press the indicated blue
> button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A & B. The
> knob to the left, just below the blue light, has three settings, low,
> medium or high. For normal use, the medium setting is suggested.
> 
> After these settings have been made, you can activate the device by
> switching to the "ON" position the clearly marked red switch. If
> during the unsubscribing operation, you wish to change the settings,
> place the "manual off" override switch in the "OFF" position. You may
> now make the change and repeat the cycle. When the green exit light
> goes on, you may log off and have lunch. Please close the door behind
> you.
>

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