Subject: That Subject! From: Kathleen Lloyd Date: August 20, 1998 I signed on this list a couple of weeks ago. I have not posted my genealogy concerns to the list, waiting instead to determine the style, content and rules for posting. Unfortunately, this thread began shortly after I joined and has gone on and on. Until today, I did not post publicly on this subject. I hoped it would run its course quickly and come to an end. It didn't. Isn't this just a lot of the problem with this country? Too many people don't >want to assume responsibility...too busy. I mean no disrespect, but I don't see the connection. I haven't seen any evidence of anyone failing to assume responsibility to provide their services. I haven't seen anyone who ducked responsibility for their actions either. But when someone does DONATE his >time--and a lot of it---to run a list like this, people want to criticize him >and tell him how to run it. Yes, there has been criticism and many words written in anger; not all of this was directed at the list owner, however. My knowledge of netiquette is based on guidelines from several sites on the web. The first and most important guideline is to remember the written word is easily misinterpreted. Without the facial expressions or the intonation of the voice, an innocent attempt at humor may come across as sarcasm. An opinion written to shed light on a subject may be misinterpreted as a personal attack. What began innocently can escalate into a war of words. I appreciate the volunteer efforts of every list owner. It is a difficult job at best of times and an overwhelming task when things don't go smoothly. The list owner has full control of the list. I accept that and appreciate the time and effort a list owner devotes to the list. I've left lists because the owner refused to monitor the posts even when the posts had deteriorated to name calling and obscene language. This is certainly not the case here. The list owner takes an active interest in the list and monitors it diligently. While I would not presume to tell a list owner how to run their list, which rules to enforce, or the like, I have -- on other lists, not this one -- written a list owner asking for help and intervention when posts became angry or heated. I have written list owners and lists, to offer suggestions for diffusing a volatile situation. Returning anger with anger only makes matters worse. Posting "I agree, you're right, she's wrong, you're wrong, she's right," or the like takes up a lot of bandwidth and accomplishes nothing. This went on too long, became far too personal and polarized the group. I just wanted to get involved with others using the Internet as a tool in their research. I still want to find others researching the family names I am researching -- and thus far, I seem to be the only one researching these names in SC! I don't want to be bogged down with all these problems. There are a LOT of rules for this list. I apologize for breaking any of them with this post. I've read the rules and honestly, I find it difficult to determine what is off topic. Information on Internet sites, service providers, new lists, names - I really don't know which are acceptable and which are not. Until the recent post from Steve, I wasn't aware of a set of consequences for inappropriate posts! Again, I am quick to say, the list owner has full control over the list. The rules are subject to change and may or may not apply to the list owner. I respect the list owner's right to make and enforce rules . I am not comfortable, however, with rules I don't fully understand. Determining what is off-topic is a case in point. I'm uncomfortable with the feeling that my posts may violate a rule and result in a reprimand or other disciplinary action. Actually, I am uncomfortable with the thought of disciplinary action looming over my head! A list is only as good, as strong and as helpful as the people who subscribe make it. The list owner hopefully monitors the list and keeps things running smoothly as unobtrusively as possible. Judging by the messages, people are unsubbing. One could say it's their loss and pass it off, but I think it is more than that. I think it is everyone's loss. I want to be part of a caring, supportive network of people who are doing what I am doing: tracing family roots. When we lose people, we lose resources. We need each other. My apologies if I added fuel to the flames. That isn't my intention at all. I really just want to learn more about genealogy in general and the names I'm researching... and I want to meet other people through this list who share my interests and love of history. Please don't flame me! This isn't a flame. It's a heartfelt post. I suffer from Panic Disorder, Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Agoraphobia -- I can't handle flames! I can't even handle them when they are directed at others, never mind aiming them at me! I do hope this will be a safe list where I can learn and freely exchange information. Thank you for taking time to read my ramblings. Kathleen Lloyd ==== SCROOTS Mailing List ==== Go To: #, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z, Main |