RE: Inappropriate and Off Topic - Cathy Ailstock
Subject: RE: Inappropriate and Off Topic
From: Cathy Ailstock
Date: August 18, 1998

Ok, Steve, Yes I will post this to the list instead of directly to you.  My first
posting was not in any way related to your "flare up with Faye."  And No I am not
Faye.  My name is Cathy Ailstock, I go by no other name.  My first posting, if you
will go through the archives, you will see is a posting of purely genealogical
nature.  A simple posting of my family surnames that I am interested in.  I had
forgotten to mention one thing so thereby I added to my original message already sent
to the list, what I had forgotten to state in the first place.  You privately
informed me (which I appreciated)a notice that I should not have had such a long
message, in other words, should have snipped some of it.  I agree, and would have
done so, but in this case, I felt that it would have been to confusing for others to
understand the full content of what I was expressing.
Now to the matter of forum policy, I have read your rules, I agree with them.  But
since you have mentioned it, I for one think that you have broken rule number 1 and 6
in your public reply to Faye (whom I am not.)  If you are going to correct others on
the lists, then I feel you should refrain yourself from name calling as well.  I have
saved the message that I sent to the list last night and in no way did I "put you
down." If you feel the need to unsub me, for posting this one to the list, then so be
it.  It will only prove that what I am saying is correct.  you had the choice to
contact me in private in this regard, and chose not too, so therefore I chose to
respond in the same manner.  I do not think it fair for you to be able to do so and
then threaten to unsub someone else for responding in the same manner that you,
yourself have done.  I for one do not intend to go any further with this. It was not
meant to have been taken in the regards that you seem to have taken it.  I simply
asked a simple question in the posting last night about being able to lean off from
the rules occasionally without being corrected.  I have been an active member on
other lists and have donated tons of my time to Genweb projects.
Cathy Ailstock (no pseudonym.)

 -----Original Message-----
> From: Steven J. Coker [mailto:[email protected]]
> Sent: Tuesday, August 18, 1998 6:57 PM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Inappropriate and Off Topic
> Cathy,
> I'm assuming from your message that Faye Dyess is your
> pseudonym?  Before you
> read this, let me say that you shouldn't take any of this
> personally.  I'm
> responding to you in public because you posted your comments
> in public.  So far,
> this is a very minor matter in my estimation.  I hope it
> stays that way.
> First, this type of discussion is OFF TOPIC in the Forum.  Do
> not post messages
> like this in the Forum in the future.  Do not respond to this
> message in the
> Forum.  Send any response to this message and any future
> messages of this type
> directly to the Forum Manager, not via the Forum.  The
> manager's email address
> is shown at the bottom of every Forum message with
> instructions to this effect.
> The SCRoots group is usually on-topic, quite friendly, and
> polite.  However,
> every once in a blue moon we have "flare ups" where somebody
> finds that they
> don't like something about how the Forum is operating and
> they decide to let
> everyone know about it.  Most do it without much forethought
> and are just
> "venting", or writing carelessly, or they misunderstand something and
> over-react.  A few do it in a calculated manner with certain
> objectives in
> mind.  The latter is somewhat like a "rebellion" or
> "terrorist action" in
> cyberspace intended to disrupt, cause harm, or subvert
> participants to leave and
> join another group.
> When I detect an attitude which seems inclined to stirring up
> controversy or
> heated argument in the Forum, I try to discourage the
> disruptive behavior.  If
> discouragement doesn't work, then I prefer to drive them away
> rather than let
> them cause disruption.  Peace and harmony in the Forum is
> more desirable than
> attaining maximum participation.  Disruptive and rude
> behavior will usually draw
> a strong reaction from me.  Such is very much unacceptable in
> SCRoots.  And, it
> wastes too much of my time, which I don't like and for which
> I have limited
> patience.
> The recent exchange was the occasional flare-up, and it has
> been a very minor
> one, so far.  If that was your first message posted to the
> list, then you made a
> bad start.  Starting off by posting negative criticism is not
> good.  When it is
> negative criticism of the Host, it is plain rude.  That is
> just like a guest at
> a party or gathering who loudly criticizes how the host has
> managed the event.
> Both are rude behavior.  In the party scenario, the person is
> not likely to be
> invited to future events.  In the Forum, they are likely to
> be asked to correct
> their behavior or leave.
> I can understand someone new to the group not knowing what is
> considered
> acceptable behavior for the group.  I've participated in many
> other message
> groups over the years.  Some of the non-genealogy groups
> welcomed argument and
> criticisms and such.  That isn't the case in SCRoots due to
> the nature of the
> group.  You might want to review the Forum archives and web
> site to get a better
> flavor of the topics and discussion in SCRoots. The archive's
> address is shown
> on the SCRoots web site.
> It is not appropriate behavior in the SCRoots Forum to post
> negative, public
> criticisms of other people's messages.  ON TOPIC messages
> which add, or have
> meaningful questions, or just want to have further ON TOPIC
> discussion about
> something published in the Forum are welcome.  That is what
> the Forum is for.
> But, OFF TOPIC negative criticisms about other peoples
> messages, are not
> appropriate or welcome.
> The message to which I responded was a rude, public criticism
> of a message from
> the Forum Manager about Forum Policy.  It is generally bad
> form to criticize a
> Forum Manager in the Forum that they manage.  If you wish to
> offer your comments
> or opinions on how I manage the Forum, you should do so in
> direct mail to me.
> Not by posting public, OFF TOPIC messages in the Forum.
> Thanks for your cooperation,
> Steven J. Coker
> SCRoots Forum Manager
> PS  Of the thousands of emails posted in SCRoots since it
> began operations, a
> very tiny fraction have been policy reminders or management
> related messages.  A
> review of the archives will confirm this.
> Cathy Ailstock wrote:
> > Wow, I have only been on this list for a few days.  Is it
> always this way?  Can there
> > never be even the slightest variation from "the rules?"  I
> am presently on 17 lists
> > and this is the first one that I have seen more corrections
> on what should and should
> > posted on the list, than I have postings.  And before we go
> there, yes I have read
> > the rules, Steven.  But....
> > Sincerely,
> > Cathy Ailstock (the one you rebuffed on my first and only
> posting to this list.)
> >
> > >
> > > And others are just rude.
> > > Steve
> > >
> > > Faye Dyess wrote:
> > > > Some people must use so many words to say so little.
> > > > Faye

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