"Letters to the Editor"
MANNING TIMES, Manning, S.C.
October 1981

"A Good Neighbor and Friend"

Dear Editor:

   I moved to South Carolina a little over a year ago. The first person I met
here and came to know is no longer with us. Carlisle "Pa" Lavender was my
landlord. He rented to me a house he loved; the house in which he was born. It's
a beautiful house, old (the central part is about 100 years old) and sturdy.
It's a complex house that started small and grew. Pa showed me his house. I told
him that I'd definitely like to rent it and he responded with, "Well, I hope we
become good neighbors and good friends."
   I was impressed by Pa's energy and vitality that summer and fall. He was
always about, repairing things, supervising projects, talking, smiling, sharing
his wit and the wisdom of his years. Pa was 82 that summer.
   I've often felt that as we grow older our physical appearance more and more
reflects our inner qualities. I can see Pa in my mind last year, before a bitter
winter set in. What I see is a man bent gracefully by the years, cigar and
walking stick in hand, formed to the shape of decency, kindness, intelligence
and dignity.
   Pa talked freely about his life; while looking at one of his old outbuildings
(that was very much in need of repair) recalling how his Daddy had kept it full
of cotton seeds from the family crops, how he had played in those seeds as a
young boy, and later used it as a hiding place for teenage contraband. Looking
tenderly at this building; which was then full of old broken objects from the
past, he was amused that these same objects had become "collectibles," flea
market treasurers. He talked about the security he had worked for as a young
man, and then lost during the depression, how the hard times were, how he fought
back, and what he learned along the way. He told me when a local lumber company
wanted to cut the timber on 20 acres of his property. They had offered him
$1,000 an acre. "But," he said, "I told them they could keep their money. The
worst part is how they tear up the young trees. They say they don't, but they
do."
   Looking back now I see that I responded most to Pa's sense of pleasure with
being alive. From word to word, from moment to moment, from life to life;
through the infirmities of age, Pa's spirit was as clear and brilliant as the
sky above his beloved land. I am aware of my loss, and feel privileged to have
known him. He was a good neighbor and a good friend.
                                  Thomas Bainbridge 


(Notice below from THE NEWS AND COURIER, Charleston, S.C. October 26, 1981.)

   Carlisle Lavender, 82, died Sunday at his residence (New Zion, S.C.) The
funeral will be at 4 p.m. Monday in New Zion United Methodist Church. Burial
will be in the church cemetery, directed by Floyd Funeral Home, Olanta.
   Mr. Lavender was born in Clarendon County, son of the late William E.
Lavender and Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson Lavender. He was a retired farmer and cotton
buyer, and a member of New Zion United Methodist Church. Surviving are his
widow, Mrs. Alma Buddin Lavender of New Zion; three sons, E. Carlisle Lavender
and W.T. Lavender, both of New Zion, and James E. Lavender of Cayce; a daughter,
Mrs. Donald G. Coker of Turbeville; a sister, Mrs. Olive L. Gamble of Sumter;
two brothers, W. Albert Lavender of Florence and William E. Lavender of New
Zion; 10 grandchildren.

----------------

Published in "The Lavender Line"
Volume 1, No. 3     Spring 1983 
Chief Editor: Doris Lavender Vilda
Assistant and Corresponding Editors:
Elinor Reid Parrott, Frances Tucker McCabe
Dr. Abraham Donald Lavender, Cyril Ray Parrott

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