THE DUEL
The gingham dog and the calico cat
Side by side on the table sat;
‘Twas half-past twelve, and (what do you think)
Nor one nor t’other had slept a wink!
The old Dutch clock and
the Chinese plate
Appeared to know as sure
as fate
There was going to be a terrible spat.
(I wasn’t there; I simply
state
What was told to me by the
Chinese plate!)
The gingham dog went “bow-wow-wow!”
And the calico cat replied “mee-ow!”
The air was littered, an hour or so,
With bits of gingham and calico,
While the old Dutch clock
in the chimney-place
Up with its hands before
its face,
For it always dreaded a family row!
(Never mind: I’m only
telling you
What the old Dutch clock
declares is true!)
The Chinese plate looked very blue,
And wailed, “Oh, dear! What shall we do!”
But the gingham dog and the calico cat
Wallowed this way and tumbled that,
Employing every tooth and
claw
In the awfullest way you
ever saw—
And, oh! How the gingham and calico flew!
(Don’t fancy I exaggerate—
I got my news from the Chinese
plate!)
Next morning where the two had sat
They found no trace of dog or cat;
And some folk think unto this day
That burglars stole that pair away!
But the truth about the
cat and pup
Its this: they ate
each other up!
(The old Dutch clock it told
me so,
And that is how I came to
know.)
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